The feral red wolf with a **** eating grin (cloudchaser_s) wrote,
The feral red wolf with a **** eating grin

Shower thoughts discounted chocolate day 2017

One liners I like from

“I’ll see you in court” is the grown up version of "I’m telling mom"

My dog barks so much at weird sounds he thinks are scary people that if someone actually did break in I wouldn’t believe him. - He’s the wolf that cried boy

The Sloths from Zootopia must have had a real hard time with double clicks

“LSD causes users to lose weight.” Obviously. You can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

Conspiracy Theories should be renamed to Conspiracy Hypothesis’s - Most have no substantial evidence to be considered a Theory

It’s funny how those pastors on TV stretch out their hands and everybody falls to the ground, except for the cameramen

We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her behind

If people that had biological kids had to go through the same approval process that adoptive parents have to go through, there would be a lot fewer kids

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think “well thats never going to happen.”

There should be a game where you start off as a the first zombie and you are the one starting the apocalypse and try not to get killed by the human population

The trippiest thing about switching bodies would be eating the foods you don’t like, and them tasting good to you

Technically, a small child has a 50% chance of putting their shoes on the right feet. Yet for some reason, their success rate remains below 10%

I wish they would make a Darth Vader stand alone movie about him hunting the Jedi during the rise of the Empire

Shows like South Park or Archer which are “for mature audiences only” are paradoxes. If I was mature, I wouldn’t find them so funny

When you drop your phone face down, it turns into Schrödinger’s phone

If you are no longer covered by your parents’ health insurance, your manufacturer warranty is over

The Girl Scouts literally use child labor to push a mass produced product

The lottery is a Kickstarter to make one guy super rich
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