One liners I like from http://just-shower-thoughts.tumblr.com
What if we all are actually high off of oxygen, and smoking weed just makes us sober?
Home Alone is basically Die Hard for kids.
Kids use to play outside and sometimes break windows. Now, kids play on the computer and break Windows
Happy Days, a parody of teenage life in the 50s, was released in the 70s. That 70s Show, a parody of teenage life in the 70s, was released in the 90s. We’re about due for a television parody series of teenage life in the 90s
How long does someone have to be dead before its considered Archaeology instead of grave robbing?
The EU has 1 GB of free space now
Canadians are so polite because they fill their geese with hatred, spite, and malice
If there is an arena full of little people and they start the wave would it be considered a ripple?
When you’re pregnant you have to drink virgin drinks
Talking is a really slow data transfer between two super computers
Opening your eyes during a prayer is usually frowned upon by religious people, but the only ones who will catch you doing it are the ones that do it themselves
Why doesnt my washing machine have a reservoir to hold and automatically add detergent, instead of pulling it out of the cupboard and adding it to every load?
The reason we view antiques as quality made items is because the shitty ones were discarded a long time ago